The Battle of Planet Playground

The Battle of Planet PlayGround was fought on 12 January 2008, 3 days after the main Ardfinnan General's birthday was the most important battle of the early stages of '''The Ardfinnan Wars. '''The Pyrrhic Ardfinnan Victory despite its heavy losses, ensured safety to Ardfinnan for many years to come building its undefeated reputation.

This was the only time Ardfinnan brought the offensive to Clonmel. Ardfinnan had taken a series of defeats and very few victories before. Ardfinnan having to take a risky attack on Clonmel with the help of Cian Mallon to help them defeat the Elite Army of Clonmel. Ardfinnan later deceived Mallon and attacked him. Ardfinnan later won the battle at too much high of a price with only 12 survivors and 6 people altogether still alive since that battle.

Background
By 2007. The Ardfinnan wars had entered its first year. Ardfinnan had been repeatedly defeated and only gained 3 victories. Ardfinnan grew weak by each week. with no formidable warriors to defend her and her enemies closing in from all fronts. They were no current warriors from the dungeons serving. The Duchy of Clogheen had recently betrayed Ardfinnan due to it not being a strong ally and hoping to exploit Ardfinnan's weakness. Cahir had poisoned the waters of the river Suir down river by using hundreds of kilos of siezed heroin from the ancient arcane laboratories of north cahir, poisoning The Ardfinnan people. Cahir had beseiged Ardfinnan trying to starve the people, they sent The Old Ardfinnan king an Ultimatum for Ardfinnan to surrender and be under the control of Cahir and the Ardfinnan people will be spared. An Ardfinnan Dungeons officer trainee known to be Teflon Don gave his officer a letter to break the siege, They both snuck outside the encirclement and killed the Cahir soldiers in their sleep and sacking their supplies baggage trains, with this being one of Ardfinnan's only victory.After the siege The Ardfinnan Intelligence Corp had observed Clonmel amassing an army to march on Ardfinnan.

Prelude
December had now ended and it was now 2008. Clonmel had finally amassed it's army and would be soon ready to march on Ardfinnan. On the 9th The Ardfinnan Dungeons trainees were forced to fight even though they had not finished their training. They were 20 boys strong with Teflon Don commanding a platoon of 5 Ardfinnan Dungeon warriors and 25 militia soldiers. It was Teflon Don's superior officer's birthday. They both planned the attack later asking Cian Mallon to join them. Mallon accepted the offer. He later prayed to his Supreme God John Cena for his blessings for battle in The Ardfinnan Church.

Positioning and Strategy
Planet Playground was neutral battleground for anyone. It had many dangerous locations such as The Death Slide. It used to be a training ground for Commando. The only 2 commanding Ardfinnan officers of The Dungeons, Teflon Don and his superior officer who was The Ardfinnan Commander Of The Army due to his birthday discussed strategy. They both agreed to stay away from open ground because they knew they would be outnumbered. The Ardfinnan 1stArmy (Known as The Ardfinnan First And Only) had got to Clonmel by convoy and positioned themselves within the soon to be battlefield of Planet Playground taking advantage points such as the top of climbing areas and platforms. Staying hidden under the ball pits and in the shadows of that punching bag area (you know the area with the punching bag things where you push them and they would slide) They would fight with guerrilla warfare.

Deployment
The Ardfinnan troops were all set up in their positions. Teflon Don had taken position at the far side ballpits of the entry in into The Playground and his general hidden within the higher levels of the the Playground. Mallon was nowhere to be seen but only seen marching to the battlefield as the convoy drove past. The Clonmel Army had arrived to the Playground, they were unable to see The Ardfinnan First and Only watched them anxiously at their large formations. not the entire Ardfinnan Army had arrived but half of The Ardfinnan Dungeons warriors were there. The entire Ardfinnan First and Only was not there but the rest got to their positions as the rest were on their way. A large portion of the Clonmel Army was at the area were the tables were in formation and a small portion outside. The Clonmel Army could of besieged The Ardfinnan First and Only within the PlayGround.

The Battle
The battle started at 13:23 PM. The Clonmel Army marched to the end to enter The Playground. They had entered the entry ball pit where The Platoon Hawks (Teflon Don's platoon) sprang up from under the ball pit and throwing balls at them. They were met with fierce fighting with The Platoon Hawks up close ball throwing got intense, The Platoon hawks were hitting their marks. The Clonmel never seen such ferocity. The Clonmel Army were taking casualties. The rest of the Ardfinnan army had arrived but were met with The Clonmel Army's rear guard.

The Clonmel forces push The Platoon Hawks back out of the ball pits and into the playground. There has been accounts that Teflon Don pushed A Clonmel soldier down The Death Slide. The Clonmel forces scattered disrupting their own formation. They were everywhere within the play ground. The Ardfinnan forces outside Planet Playground were defeated but the dungeon warriors and made it in.

A horde Clonmel soldiers and entered the punch bag area. The Ardfinnan forces used the bags as shields and slid them across the area. knocking down the soldiers at the front of the horde. The Ardfinnan First and Only hid right behind the bags and the Clonmel horde went through the bags where They were ambushed and engaged in hand to hand combat.

The battle had now been fought in all areas on the playground. Mallon had arrived destroying Clonmel's rear guard forces. Teflon Don had seen Mallon enter the building and rushed to the entry ballpit by himself. Cian Mallon had reached the entry ball pit throwing around 2 year old children and doing WWE moves on them. Teflon Don had witnessed this moment and grinned and called Cian Mallon over. Cian Mallon had finally entered the main part of the playground. Teflon Don made way to the tube tunnels and ensued the fighting from their. The fighting was intense and fierce in such claustrophobic positions. Teflon Don had taken a hit to the face by a ball snuck in from the ball pit. He was severely damaged he survived where most would of died.

Mallon with his super senses had heard the blow and rushed to the tunnels clearing the tunnels like an insatiable force clearing them like A tsunami. Teflon Don and the Platoon Hawks made way to the punchbag area. The fighting had reached it's peak and most intense point. The bottom of the playground where it was darkest had been flooded with Clonmel soldiers the Ardfinnan soldiers had to get out. Teflon Don had escaped the ground floor saving 3 lives in the process.

While Cian Mallon was pre-occupied with throwing around 2 year olds around at the ball pit. The main Ardfinnan Commander had been pushed back to the football pitch where the Ardfinnan Army tried to avoid. and Teflon Don had been dragged into the darkness into the "Depths Of Hell" (ground floor of the playground where the light was little and did not reach) and had crucified him on the punchbag with 2 other Ardfinnan militia men, their plan was to divide the Ardfinnan officers apart and capture so the Ardfinnan army would have no command. They tortured Teflon Don and punched him and threw balls at him, the other 2 Ardfinnan militia men had succumbed to their wounds. Teflon Don taking several hits to the face still surviving. A Clonmel soldier brought in hot chip that came with his chicken nuggets burned Teflon Don's chest and cut into his chest like a hot knife. Teflon Don used his strength to break the binds off, fighting off his enemies with more Ardfinnan militia men.

From a distance, from the lights of the upper levels. A light shined down on the platform that lead to the ground level. Mallon has emerged from the bright light with many Ardfinnan Soldiers, they charged down unto their enemies killing them with fire and steel, making their enemy kneel and die for The Glory Of Ardfinnan. The Main Ardfinnan Commander had escaped and went down the waterfall slides. Teflon Don and Cian Mallon and the rest of The Ardfinnan First and Only fought the rest of the Clonmel Army and Grange army. With the tides turning. Teflon Don and The Ardfinnan officers have finally decided now that the enemy is gone only little resistance. It was time to execute order 66 on Mallon. The Ardfinnan First and Only attacked Mallon but Mallon killing all his enemies by the masses. Teflon Don gathered his Platoon Hawks and got in formation and marched for Mallon. Mallon started charging at The Platoon Hawks, they braced for impact but Mallon's heavy cavalry charge killed everyone apart from Teflon Don. they both fought eachother in intense hand to hand combat. Mallon using his superior strength beat back Teflon Don and later giving him the attitude adjustment that almost killed Teflon Don and breaking his back the Mallon moving to his next opponent. Teflon Don crawled to safety despite having a broken back.

Mallon was tearing up and decimating The Ardfinnan First and Only. Teflon Don almost made it back to the officers that were eating cake. Mallon walked by picking him up. Teflon Don said to Mallon 'your petty beliefs in John Cena will not help you walk out of this alive' and headbutted Mallon. Mallon grabbed the salt from the table and threw it in his eyes. Teflon Don was severely blinded. he later ate some cake. to replenish his energy but Teflon Don's advisors suggested that he should not fight Mallon. Teflon Don shadowed Mallon using his skill of Fabian tactics and the art of concealment. Mallon later started playing football with the heads of his enemies. Teflon Don fought Mallon one last time on the peak of the playground that was the football pitch. They both fought eachother to exhaustion. The fighting was even match but Teflon Don struck a blow that would change the course of time forever knocking down Mallon. Teflon Don had mortally wounded Cian Mallon for as Cian Mallon had mortally wounded Teflon Don. Mallon ran from the battle throwing around more 2 year olds. Later the manager had kicked Mallon out and banishing him from Planet Playground. Teflon Don looking out at the moonlight out the windows breathing out his last breaths as he thought he was going to die. Smiling as he knew that it may have been a costly battle but has ensured Ardfinnan's safety for another 100 years and saved the Universe from being destroyed. The survivors of The Ardfinnan First And Only carried Teflon Don out giving him medical attention. They left Clonmel back to Ardfinnan.

Aftermath
This was probably the most costly battle and most important battle of Ardfinnan history. Teflon Don had to stay in bed to recover. He almost died on his hospital bed. He quickly used the Capri Sun straw and used as a needle injecting Capri Sun into his veins saving himself. Cian Mallon was permanently banned from Planet Playground.

Changes
Grange had declared neutrality to both Clonmel and Ardfinnan and later signed A non-aggression pact with Ardfinnan. Ardfinnan used Grange as the buffer zone for Clonmel which Ardfinnan took indirect control of Grange. Teflon Don was later awarded for his valor in battle being giving The Ardfinnan Maroon Cross medal and The Wreath that legendary commanders wore. His birthday had came up 5 days after and he became The High Commanding General for Ardfinnan. Cahir declared it's neutrality and signed a non-aggression pact with Ardfinnan. Ardfinnan used this as time for to build up forces to later attack Cahir many years to come. Ever since the battle, Ardfinnan gained immortal glory for defeating the superior Clonmel Army and defeating Cian Mallon. Ardfinnan's luck had turned for the better having not being defeated ever from any foreign enemy ever since and being a new superpower city state in The Valley.